


Exhaust Fumes

by DrMorbius



Category: Adam Driver - Fandom, Paterson (2016)
Genre: ghost story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27264526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrMorbius/pseuds/DrMorbius
Summary: Paterson is a bus driver, and lives in the city of Paterson with his young wife Laura.They've moved here to escape the madness of the big city, to breath clean air and maybe start a family.The dog Marvin of course is brought along.But Paterson soon discovers that old memories haunt his bus route.
Kudos: 1





	Exhaust Fumes

**_Breakfast_ **

_ Seven am sun lifts casts your shadow on my skin _

_ I hold the gaze with eyes closed then opened into light _

_ My cup _

_ Is overfilled with you, hair wet ready for the day _

_ I smile goodbye deep delicious scented almond in my mind _

_ Baking planned to fill your time _

_ I leave for the bus station's;  _

_ Exhaust fumes _

_ \--- _

Laura had a baker's dozen ready.

Box, black, spotted white, on the counter open, cakes cooling.

New tray rising in oven heat, front door slammed shut. 

Dog looked up from chair with a sneer, returned to sleep. 

Laura greeted with cheek proffered, hands holding piping bag.

"Work okay?"

"Fine"

His customary answer, rarely varied. 

Sat on the sofa, under the picture, legs apart, watching her piping.

"I've been so busy, do you like the new cushions I've made as well?"

Paterson, one under his arm, lifted to inspect, returned it.

"Pretty"

"I had some left over fabric from the craft store on Main Street, like my design?"

He smiled at black and white check.

"Stylish"

"I'm thinking maybe I enrol in that fashion class at the college, what do you think?"

"Sure honey"

Paterson looked at the dog.

Winston looked at him.

Paterson looked over at Laura.

Winston huffed a low growl. 

"Honey?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I smell?"

Laura puzzled, disinterested.

"Course not"

"Good"

Stood up closer, held her waist to strong uniformed chest.

"These smell good as you do?"

"No... don't touch, they're for my market stall tomorrow"

Laura batted away playful hands.

Cold. 

The weather really had changed.

==========

**_People_ **

_ I wonder if they notice me watching them constantly _

_ If they care that I see everything _

_ I watch to see if they're happy but most are bored _

_ A boredom I don't share I find interest in everything _

_ Among the crowds there is hope, anxiety, fatigue _

_ I wonder what they see _

_ In me _

\---

Laura sold her cakes.

Leftovers on the counter, eyed up by Winston.

Licking mouth noisily 'The Annoyance' returned.

"You're late honey, everything okay?"

"Fine"

Lunch pail next to cupcake box.

Helped himself to vanilla black icing.

"Honey, I think you need a new work jacket, no don't move you'll get oil all over the wall, here let me, are you okay?"

Took Paterson's jacket, no protest.

Looked at Winston who;

Tilted head snorted disapproval.

Jumped to the floor, hid under table.

"Pat this is covered, this why you were late home, you have a breakdown on the bus again?"

"No"

Took his coffee smiling

The shower running.

Laura preparing dinner.

###############################

**_Clouds_ **

_ Suspended above my head thousands of tonnes of water _

_ It flows in white and grey and green and rumbles and billows _

_ I sit and watch it hit my windscreen the washers _

_ Wipe it away. _

_ A rainbow on a girls tee can't explain the complicated elegant science _

_ Behind mysterious weather _

_ Can we see a cloud on the street standing on the sidewalk _

_ Is it lonely waiting for another cloud? _

_ Is it supposed to have eyes? _

_ \--- _

Picture of Laura.

Cupcake in lunch pail.

Postcard of Delphi in Greece 

Small plastic flower. 

Polaroid of her embracing Marvin; 

Only one was smiling.

Paterson's heart lighter.

Laura always wore a black fedora hat over brown hair, dark eyes, soft lips.

Happy Young Wife

###############################

**_Toys_ **

_ The boy holds a toy shop bag and its yellow _

_ It rattles as my bus goes over the bumps in the road _

_ On main street the puddles splash _

_ His mom smiles as she gets on with him in a big hurry _

_ Maybe it's his birthday, a lego car in the box _

_ A lego bus in the bag _

_ Like the one I'm driving them home in. _

_ The bag is bigger than his head covered in black hair. _

\---

Laura was painting the hallway.

Front door opened.

"Hi honey"

"Pat, you're gonna get covered in paint, hold still... what's this?"

Paintbrush down, patted his arm.

Turned his back. 

"Another breakdown?"

"Nothing major"

"Did you try to fix it first, it could be something electrical, you shouldn't try to repair the engine, did you hurt yourself?"

"I didn't"

"Pat you have oil all over your sleeve and on your back"

Looked dazedly down, frowned.

"Sorry"

\---

Hot and sweating, cheeks covered in tears.

"Pat, you were dreaming"

Half opened eye, rolled to right side.

Looked at watch.

03.04am the magic dial by the side; 

Told him.

###############################

**_Coffee_ **

_ My cup is huge in your hand metallic with a plastic lid _

_ You fill it each morning but today I let you sleep you look so clean so serene _

_ Beautiful I want to hide my passion deep inside you hide in your hair _

_ Seek solace in your arms and legs and lips _

_ I stand to look down at you my pretty young creative wife _

_ I am strong enough I will have to be _

_ To cope with trials and trauma and clouds of doubt _

_ My coffee's gone cold and tastes bitter _

_ Without you what am I? _

_ \--- _

Winston hated 'Walkies'

Tall awkward 'Annoyance' put on his lead.

He should've been consulted. 

Asked permission from. 

Removed from a warm comfortable perch.

To cold dark wet streets

The Annoyance took the same route.

The Annoyance was walking faster tonight.

Running past corner of Arlington and Lex.

His paws pattered over crosswalk concrete.

How undignified.

The man on the end of the lead smelt like burnt rubber tyres.

\---

Paterson nursing Coors at the bar.

Sam and Dave playing pool. 

He smiled.

"Want another there Pat?"

Asked Doc, clean bar cloth slung over shoulder.

"No thanks"

Man of few words Paterson.

Doc wiped the counter leaned toward.

"You okay man, you look beat, damn Pat that route of yours never varies does it?"

"No"

"I heard about the breakdown, wasn't gonna burst into flames and run down Arlington in a fireball was it, like what happened three years ago?"

Third time today Paterson got asked that question.

"All fixed now"

"That's the fourth this month, isn't it, god man why is it always along Arlington?"

Paterson pondered 

Doc was right.

The bus chose Arlington to break down on.

Close or just past, that legendary corner.

Glass was drained.

Winston lifted eyes to Annoyance

Whimpered.

###############################

**_Music_ **

_ Stereo sounds fill my bus with textured air surrounds passengers with notes and phrases _

_ I tap my toe to the beat and see they do the same _

_ I try not to knock the accelerator pedal _

_ I'd race past the corner of Arlington _

_ Through the red light and break the charm _

_ It thunders in my head and I want to jump up _

_ The man with the stereo its so small begins to dance _

_ The aisle applauds when he bows _

_ One figure doesn't. _

_ \--- _

Laundromat on Levant, smelt of detergent steam.

Black dude waiting for cycle to finish. 

Drawing shapes, composing phrases, memorising lines, dropping wisdom.

Fluorescent strip shining.

Features concentrated, making lines resonate, elaborate, conjugate, 808 State.

Lyrical poet, tuneful.

World of his own.

Startled, looked down at his captured audience.

Sat on its bottom in the doorway.

Bulldog.

No owner on the lead, tilting head from side to side.

The rap tune forgotten.

"Hey buddy, where's ya master dude?"

Winston whined pathetically.

Loving the attention. 

Loving freedom at last.

Laundry beeped its finish

Black man pounding down the sidewalk, close to the beat.

Prone figure under harsh street light, blue slacks black jacket.

Drunk?

No, he had been drinking.

Fainted?

No, the man was out cold.

Lyrical poet picked up booted feet rested on his knees.

Forcing blood back to the brain.

Marvin stood back, tail between his legs.

Looking past them both at the figure standing across the street.

Watching.

And laughing.

###############################

**_Night Sky_ **

_ Never truely black its deep velvety blue _

_ No stars, clouds reflect the street lights orange, yellow, green, red _

_ Unnatural colours in a sky made of hydrogen, nitrogen, star dust and charged particles. _

_ The night sky is like a sheet of paper on which you can write a story _

_ Blank, yet full of memory and wonder filled with heat and violence. _

_ Why can't I see beauty anymore? _

_ It's all around me everyday is this the price I have to pay _

_ To protect her? _

_ From the heat and the violence the regret and the stink on the rainy road _

_ Of our new town? _

_ \--- _

Laura wanted to call a sick day.

Paterson never had one of those in his life.

Wasn't about to start.

Woke before she did, his habit.

Put on watch, unwrapped Laura from his frame.

So warm and light.

His pillow drenched, replaced it.

Hoping she wouldn't notice. 

Work jacket over arm, noticed his number badge was missing.

He wasn't going back.

He knew where he lost it.

Winston cowering under table.

Paterson put on his coffee.

"Honey, you're not going in are you, the ambulance said for you to rest today, let me call in for you?"

"I feel fine you foolish woman."

"But..."

"I'm fine, go back to bed Laura now, I'm not calling in sick not now not ever"

Laura, wrapped in bedsheet stepped back.

Shocked at the tone, the look in his eye. 

Knew better than to try and argue with that face.

She'd only seen it twice before.

On the night Winston shredded the notebook of self penned poetry.

On the night the Paterson Bus Company held a wake for Jasper McCanley.

The week before the lawsuit was filed.

###############################

**_Time_ **

_ The shift is always eight hours long _

_Route never alters circling_ _never ending weaving through traffic and time_

_ Made of small electric cars and trucks _

_ I pick up shopping cart, college student, Bourbon Man _

_ By the YMCA all running the same route day in day out they say hello sometimes _

_ Today I don't want them to as I watch time drag _

_ The Figure grabs at my heart and sees Laura sitting inside the organ _

_ The Figure grabs my sense of self and laughs at my stupidity _

_ My mundane slow safe unfulfilled monotonous staid boring life _

_ Takes all my thoughts for itself and everything spins _

_ I hold to the wheel for stability in troubling _

_ Times _

_ \--- _

The argument spilled from restroom to garage floor. 

Paterson's supervisor Donny on his mobile.

"At 5 yeah, no I've not forgotten, yes I'm on my way to pick it up now... alright... alright... okay... yeah fine... love you too... no I shall be back when I... oh...!"

The wife had rung off, Paterson wrote down hours in log book. 

Collected lunch pail from under the seat.

Exited the cab.

"Would you do me a favour Paterson, I'm kind of in a bind here and you're always so amenable, I know you could do with the overtime, and I wondered if maybe you would stay a bit longer today - I mean if its too much trouble I could always ask Richie, I know he's got the missus and his newborn to look after and I know times are a bit lean and... and..."

"I can't Donny"

"It's great overtime, I know you've been here since 8am, I know it's a boring route and what with your bus always breaking down and having to wait for a new one and everything, but I will make sure this one won't conk out along Arling..."

"No, but thank you"

"You sure, call Laura on my mobile, I've free minutes this month, not a problem, I always try to be helpful, you know I had a chap in here earlier complaining about the smell on your bus, but I knew you always keep it clean so I told him to get lost... weird though... said it smelt like exhaust, from a diesel, we all use biofuel, this is like so weird man..."

He held out his mobile in hope.

"Goodnight Donny"

Watched Paterson walk calmly out into the street, 

He needed a new uniform, badly. 

Back dirtied and torn, something had gripped onto it.

Pulled viciously.

The bottom of trousers dipped in motor oil.

He made a note on the planner to order new.

And reprimand him for being so slovenly.

_ "This is like so weird man!" _

###############################

**_Company_ **

_ Along my walk I meet people they stop to talk sometimes maybe I talk to them a while _

_ Yesterday it was a girl on a stoop waiting for her mom _

_ Tapping into her phone _

_ Tonight it was a guy from the bar crossed in love confused as hell _

_ What can I do but listen under the warm bar lights _

_ Orange rotting memories of patrons and passengers long gone _

_ I know the loss of self and the pain during twilight _

_ I have company now _

_ I can't get rid of it however hard I try it's lonely and lost _

_ Attached _

\---

"DRIVER!"

Student grabbed a handrail in alarm.

Rang the bell again and again.

Braced as Paterson slammed on air brakes.

"Dude, get your head from up ya' ass!"

Door swung open, student with earbuds stomped down steps.

Threw the bird.

Bus pulled into traffic from its impromptu stop.

Just past the corner of Lexington and its pungent miasma.

Paterson's tears stung.

\---

Annoyance altered the walkies route.

Marvin's surprised. 

Paws walked past their usual turn before he realised. 

Mad as hell. 

Should have been consulted on the change of route.

Couldn't stop to read news at lamp post on corner; 

Bark at the cat who taunted him from the fence.

Number 146 Gower Street.

This wasn't on at all.

Route avoided Laundromat.

Marvin sat, bristling panting, by the bar door.

Sniffed air in disgust.

Why did humans not wretch every time they went in these weird places?

Why did Annoyance insist on taking him? 

He hated him. 

Cocking a leg against his postbox every morning in contempt.

Sniggered as 'The Man' living with 'The Mistress' kicked it back into place.

Annoyance emerged from the bar.

Marvin watched him walk up the street. 

He'd left him behind.

How insulting.

He left walking with someone who walked;

Two steps behind.

Two steps aside.

Two steps silent.

Two steps above wet slick oil covered sidewalk

Holding it's colour against the world.

It smelt of;

Diesel exhaust.

Marvin shivered.

###############################

**_Bus Shelter_ **

_ I pull into the shelter on Lexington Avenue everyday _

_ But no one gets on or off no one living is waiting for me there _

_ The passengers don't question it and talk among themselves in whispers _

_ About me I smell like a garage and I've a sticky metallic taste in my mouth _

_ Sun in the sky I feel I'm walking under a dark veil _

_ Of Exhaust _

_ Fumes surround and chase _

_ In a heart full of wheels and smoke it sits _

_ In a chair by the window on the street side _

_ And watches the world go by _

_ I don't charge it a fair, it hasn't any money _

_ The passengers avoid an empty chair they'd much rather stand _

_ \--- _

Laura ready to leave when he returned home late. 

Paterson, just enough time to change, wash the day away.

Walking to The Odeon on Main.

B Movie shocker "Invaders From Mars"

Paterson couldn't see the screen, hazy, someone was smoking in the screen.

There was pain in his chest as the child ran up the path to the brow of the hill, and stopped, silhouetted by the sunset.

Laura held his hand all the long way home.

Opening the front door, Marvin stirred from sleep.

Scampered under the table.

Baring teeth.

Laura discounted the behaviour, she discounted so many other idiosyncrasies.

Just another example of Boys Being Boys.

The third figure floating under the door to the bedroom.

Paterson felt betrayed.

Laura felt horny.

\---

That night he struck her.

Deep in dreams, sweating, swearing, crying out her name. 

Laura turned to hold a thrashing body still.

He threw out an arm as if trying to warn, move something hot out the way. 

Getting out of bed, rubbing at her shoulder where his fist had struck.

Cried, in a blanket fort on the sofa.

###############################

**_Guilt_ **

_ It's useless _

_ The mug by the coffee pot is yours but it's unused _

_ Sleeping apart is cold lonely I miss your warmth _

_ Replaced by fumes and cold and hate and betrayal and loathing and regret and bitterness _

_ I sit by you at breakfast in silence as we always have _

_ There is something between us can't you see it? _

_ I can't see you very well and it's the guilt _

_ Which is clouding the sight of your pretty smile _

_ I can't see you _

_ But he can _

_ \--- _

Donny sat Paterson in his office, 

Looked pleased.

Looked friendly. 

Looked over his shoulder as if someone was eavesdropping the conversation.

Stood up and closed office door.

Sniffed the air, curled his nose.

"We are changing your route, yes I noticed you weren't happy and I'm sorry you've had to do it for so long, and I hope the new one will suit you more, it goes up toward Prospect Park and it's terminus is there - you've half half an hour before you need to return, I think that should help you out a bit, that park is so lovely this time of year, I take the wife and kids for a picnic sometimes, up by the waterfall!"

"Thanks"

"Sure you're okay with this, I mean I know you are used to your current route and the people who travel it everyday are sure gonna miss you, I have such glowing reports from the regulars, but I do think you need to smarten up a bit, I mean your face is all covered in, what is that, is it exhaust soot?"

Paterson wiped hand over forehead where Laura had kissed him.

Looked at the hand.

Dark grey, powdery soot particles.

Looked embarrassed.

"Sorry Donny"

"It's fine, just freshen up in the restroom, and I've hung up a brand new uniform in the locker room for you, I think we can dump this one, I mean look at it, all torn at the sleeves and covered in oil, it looks a bit singed in places, oh Pat you really should have come to me for a new one ages ago!"

Testily said, kindly meant.

"Sorry Donny"

"Why don't you take a day off Pat, you look beat, we can start the route tomorrow, I mean it's okay, Richie has some big idea he wants to build a treehouse for his kid, and needs some extra money, he's been pestering for overtime, why not collect your uniform instead, chuck that burnt uniform away and go home, get some rest, okay... okay?"

"Okay, thanks"

Donny looked after Paterson sauntering dreamlike.

Towards locker room, lunchpail in hand, one foot after the other.

Oily footprints followed.

The smell left with him.

Donny picked up his mobile and called Laura.

###############################

**_Bench_ **

_ Sitting in the sunshine as it fades into twilight by the waterfall _

_ I write words that mean nothing to anybody but myself _

_ My notebook is always with me a record of memory of life love for always. _

_ The bench is hard and cold and uncomfortable and my love is so swollen _

_ With the best view in the city of the quietest shade of loud _

_ Clouds of water spray and I think about all the things I feel  _

_ And I am just glad to be here _

_ The snow is on the way I can smell it _

_ I can't smell you anymore and there is no picture in my lunch pail _

_ He won't follow me to where the sun meets the water and nature _

_ Is triumphant. _

_ I've left him with you _

_ \--- _

Laura hid her worry, music case on the sofa. 

Paterson moved Marvin onto the floor.

No kick

No tug of war

Tipped back the chair, dog fell out. 

Sulked under the table.

Paterson dusted off dog hair and reclaimed territory.

Now it smelt of engine coolant fluid.

"You're late today honey, is everything okay?"

"Yes"

"Donny called me and said he sent you home at 11, where have you been till now, you look so tired honey, want a drink, want to make love?"

"No, thanks"

She strummed a chord, Laura only knew how to play 'The Staunton Lick'.

"I'll be downstairs"

"Okay honey, maybe we can fuck soon okay, don't be long at that cliched poetry of yours honey, I want you."

Paterson stared, mouth open.

Shut it fast.

Paterson had lost the fight for Laura.

His pretty wife was another man's property.

Laura watched the slow rise, the walk toward her, 

His hand out to touch bruised shoulder.

She recoiled. 

Marvin growled. 

Paterson had the pain of seeing her draw away in body and in mind. 

A door opened

A door shut

The fumes stronger now.

###############################

**_Smoke_ **

_ In a glasshouse full of plants and mist I build a house from fragments of memory _

_ Reveal what is growing inside surrounded by artificial rain _

_ And heat _

_ People who live in glass houses _

_ Know _

_ That when you smoke inside a room the yellow stain above your head _

_ Gets darker and darker tan begins to drip yellow droplets _

_ The smoke smells of engines, diesel and coolant and hatred _

_ How long can this play last? _

_ I love you I love you I love you I love you _

_ I've lost you I've lost you to the smoke and the foulness of resentment and jealousy _

_ Loneliness _

_ I can't look at you anymore _

\---

A much longer poem would have been composed if Laura hadn’t interrupted.

It startled, a light tap on his shoulder

Gentle kiss at his temple, brush of hair against cheek.

Pungent aroma of petrol.

Cruel snigger, cold breeze.

Paterson wanted to hold Laura close, tell her everything.

Paterson wanted to push 'Laura' away, tell her nothing.

Pulled up a chair, 'Laura' sat, leaned on the workbench.

Paterson closed eyes, bent head.

It kissed his writing hand then led him back;

Upstairs to the bedroom.

Locked Marvin out.

Here is a song from the wrong side of town.

Where a man and a woman lie together.

From their first breath.

They bounce and gyrate, send each other groaned messages.

Befriend their glorious sensations, sing in tears.

Laugh in ecstacy.

Paterson sang, Laura grunted.

In the shower he scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed...

###############################

**_Regret_ **

_ In my time of death I want to see the faces of my passengers so I may die easy  _

_ Each face kind not reproachful or angry at me _

_ But I don't deserve to be let off that easy _

_ I sit and deeply regret allowing fumes to invade our life _

_ Regret and Spite bites and stings and brings tears onto this bus _

_ Well well well _

_ May I be saved from ignorance, greedy envy dark as Vantablack _

_ Into my head and my eyes and my brain and now the heart of my lovely wife _

_ My pretty wife has a taste for it and I coughed on her kisses _

_ Make me regret the lethargy of a repetitive life _

_ I offered her no change, no surprises, no variation from routine _

_ It gives her more of what I never gave her _

_ It gives her power to finish things she starts in desperation of avoiding _

_ My boring self _

_ Her burning flesh melts and drips from the ceiling as a tan nicotine stain _

\---

New route worked out better. 

Paterson smiled to himself. 

Eyes wandering to his passengers, heart beating.

Empty inside.

He forgot to turn left when he should have turned right.

His habit, his routine, rattled and rolled;

Along the route, he took before;

As the passengers looked, in puzzlement.

Then at each other

As if asking... 

"Who is brave enough to ask the driver what the hell he's playing at?"

\---

"What shall we do on the weekend honey, I have lots of ideas, mostly at home, is your dick strong enough to take me to heaven and back again and again?"

Laura skipped from her workroom. 

Set of curtains, ready to be rehung.

"You choose Laura."

Paterson winced, swallowed.

Winston sat a head in Paterson's lap.

A truce called.

"The Park, we could fuck under the elm trees, wouldn't that be such fun?"

"Sure"

Winston rubbed chin against Paterson's leg.

Snuggled closer.

"Help me with these, I need those strong arms baby, come on, don't be a pussy, help your young wife with the rail, he he he... then rail me against the wall"

Pain in smile, took the newly sewn black white drapes.

Hooped them over the pole. 

Watching how pleased she looked with the tape measure around her neck.

It would be so easy.

"You feeling better, you want me suck you off, that would relax you, you're big, but my mouth is bigger."

Winston scratched at 'His Master's' leg.

Paterson looked down at a comrade.

Winston smiled.

"You mind if we go to Shades first?"

"Take that dog, he's not been out all day, fat lazy animal, go get a drink inside you, might loosen you up, not too much though, I don't want you going limp on me again, shit that was so fuckin dissapointing!"

Marvin pulled insistently.

Taken on walkies by "His Master" escaping nightmares. 

Hackles down, tail wagging.

Glad to be at Paterson's side.

You both wear guilt like shackles at your feet and paws.

Paterson found a friend, smiled, patted his head.

Marvin trotted obediently.

Not caring in which direction, glad to be in fresh air.

Aching to be free.

The postbox stood upright.

Paterson took him into the bar, introduced him to everyone.

"Hey Marvin, dude ain't you a handsome animal!"

Marvin looked shy.

The black lady was too cute.

Sat by her feet, puffed out a sigh, grinned.

"Hey Paterson, man you look like you need a drink" 

"Long day?"

Paterson's world is falling apart.

He's glad the bar closed in.

Protection, kindness, familiarity, life.

"Hell, if I looked like you I'd check myself in to see the Doc"

"Marvin, you like pretzels dude, god ain't you a fun dog - hey Pat - why you never brought this stud muffin in here before man?"

Marvin sniggered.

Doc laughed, passed Paterson a Coors.

Nursing the cold glass, overhearing Sam and Dave at pool. 

He wondered how long since he played.

\---

Marvin fast asleep, enjoying lady's caresses.

Paterson tapped him gently with the pool cue tip.

Smiled as she put him on the floor.

"Pat bring him inside again, he is such a little cutie pie, aren't you, ooza good doggo den?"

"Penny, I shall"

Walking home.

Dragging home.

Paterson and Marvin. 

Stood outside home shivering.

Every window litten, blazing with light.

Here's a story to tell.

A grand party in a tall towered castle.

Prince Prospero the host, guests hiding from contagion.

Through red litten windows, a marvelous throng was seen.

Dancing to discordant music.

Eating, making merry, warm, safe, debauched.

In cold stood a peasant and his dog.

Carriers of contagion called 'Life' and 'Love'.

Guests were dancing together in smoke.

Paterson called the fire brigade.

On my mobile phone

###############################

You're unputdownable, a plot which I thought may be different, I'm left in confusion by the epilogue.

The Narrative arc has been interrupted and changed.

I sit waiting for Paterson, I've the dog lead in my hand and we stare at the baby blue painted wall, both worried, both covered in black smoke dust, coughing it up from lungs, and hoping against hope that we got to her in time.

We both sit in the ER waiting room, we're both filthy, the nurses look down their noses but don't ask us to leave.

My tears draw clean lines down my cheeks.

My name is Claire McCanley, I'm Jasper's wife, sorry widow.

I've come to the end.

I shall turn back to page one and begin again. 

It's the truth and I'm so so sorry.

So so sorry.

###############################

**_Eulogy_ **

_ My book has closed never to open on our love _

_ If you would allow me to be so kind stand at your side _

_ I caress the wood and wish it were me _

_ Inside the casket _

_ My wife Laura, soul large and generous, kind and caring. _

_ Died too young, childless and unfulfilled.  _

_ Her life  _

_ Was my life too. _

###############################

**_Epilogue_ **

Marvin's tail slid between his back legs as 'The Master' dragged him away.

Marvin hated the walk past the old house, now demolished.

Marvin walked closer to Paterson, looked up, deep concern on the dog's face.

Paterson walked and walked and walked and walked.

Walked without knowing in which direction.

Marvin didn't mind.

Marvin only wanted to be close to Paterson.

Marvin loved The Master.

They both froze.

There was enough scent for two and Marvin turned his wet nose up at the second figure.

It was as distinct to a dog as a smell of cooking bacon is to a human. They have a sense beyond ours, they know if a child is in pain, they know if a human is about to go into a Diabetic coma.

Marvin cowered behind Paterson's legs.

Two figures stood on the corner of Arlington and Lex.

One wore a black fedora hat. 

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THE END

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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